


A Second Chance

by tinacita



Series: tom one shots [8]
Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinacita/pseuds/tinacita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A devastating loss nearly destroys Tom, but he's given a second chance at happiness</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> i apologize in advance, this is SUPER long ... and a bit sad in the beginning ...

I sighed as the first rays of sunlight began to peek through the curtains. Glancing down, I smiled as I saw her still sleeping. Her head was resting on my chest, one arm draped over me.

Part of me still couldn’t believe that this was real. I never thought something like this could be possible. I closed my eyes, and drifted off thinking about how I wound up here …

Everything had started so great. I met Jackie at a photo shoot. We hit it off immediately, and on the 2nd day of the shoot, I asked her out.

So, for the next year, we dated whenever we were in the same place. I knew after a few months that I was falling in love with her, but I waited to tell her.

I was elated when she told me she loved me, which was somewhere around month 8. Jackie seemed a little surprised when I told her that I had been in love with before then, because she didn’t think that someone like me could love her.

Over the next few months, I made her realize just how special she was, and shortly after our 1st anniversary, I proposed. Jackie cried tears of joy as she accepted.

Since we had some time off, we arranged a very small ceremony. We got married in Scotland, at a relative’s house. My parents, sisters and their families were present, as well as Luke and Olly. Jackie’s best friend Kate and her husband were there, as Jackie’s parents had both passed away and she had no siblings.

We spent the weekend in Scotland before taking a brief trip to Wales for our honeymoon. It was spectacular. We were so in love …

About 2 years after the wedding, I got the best news ever – I was going to be a father! I was so excited, and a little surprised, as we really weren’t planning on starting on a family until the following year.

In the beginning, all was well. Jackie was doing great, and she was only taking jobs in London so she didn’t have to travel.

Around the start of her 2nd trimester, Jackie began to get sick. At first, her doctor believed it to be morning sickness. It does affect everyone differently, so there was no cause for concern. I felt badly though, as I was shooting a film in another country.

Unfortunately, the situation would get much worse. Her condition was serious, and not improving.

I couldn’t return home for good until 3 weeks prior to her due date, and I was never so grateful to have my family close by, taking care of her.

My heart sank every time I looked at her. It was my fault that she was suffering so badly. Jackie repeatedly told me otherwise, but I never believed her.

June 4th was the day that my life changed forever. Jackie’s water broke, and I took her to the hospital. The nurses immediately took her to surgery, as the doctor decided that was probably the best option.

Despite their protests, I stayed with my wife, and witnessed the birth of our amazing son. He was perfect – healthy and strong. Then one of the nurses took me and our son into an adjoining room while the doctors finished with Jackie.

We were taken to Jackie’s room, and I sat there with our beautiful boy. The wait was horrible, but eventually the doctor returned. She looked awful, and I knew it was bad.

The doctor proceeded to inform me that Jackie was suffering from multiple organ failure, and that she would most likely not survive. I screamed, and collapsed into a heap on the floor.

Jackie insisted that we name him William, and truthfully, I was in no condition to argue. I should’ve been grateful that she had the chance to see him, and hold him. But I wasn’t. All I thought of was how this precious little boy was never going to know his amazing mother.

Jackie died 4 days later, peacefully, as I sat next to her bed, holding her hand. The following week was a blur, and thankfully, my mum handled everything.

I don’t remember too much of it at all … The only thing that sticks out is trying to take care of little William …

Mum had decided that she would come and stay and with us for a bit. She knew I was even more unprepared, and not really capable of dealing with everything alone. Thank god she did, because I was not in a good way.

After Jackie died, my heart just wasn’t in acting anymore. I begrudgingly finished the project I was working on, and then I quit. I called Luke and told him I was done. I had him extricate me from any outstanding contracts, and I literally dropped out of sight. I just couldn’t do it.

William was the one who truly suffered. Every time I looked at time, I saw Jackie. It broke my heart. And then I did the unthinkable – I started pulling away from him. I stopped taking care of him. I wouldn’t feed him, or even spend time with him. I kept sinking deeper and deeper into some sort of depression. And worst of all, I didn’t even care.

Mum was super supportive, and tried everything she could think of to help. But I wanted no part of it. At that moment, without Jackie, there was nothing left for me.

In a strange twist, it was my mentor, colleague and friend, Kenneth Brannaugh, who pulled me from the abyss.

Mum was at her wit’s end, and none of my other friends had been able to help. How she thought of Ken I’ll never know. She called Luke, who gave her his number. They met up one day after she took William to the doctor’s.

The following morning he was at my house. Ken literally barged into my bedroom, yanked me out of bed, and dumped me into the shower. The cold water jolted me awake, after which Ken proceeded to yell at me for a good hour. After I dried off, he led me to my study, where he hit me square in the jaw. I screamed as I hit the floor. Then we talked, for a long time.

And we continued to talk every day for weeks. He finally got through to me, and made me realize what I was doing, especially to William. Six months had passed before I finally “snapped out of it.” It hurt me deeply to know that I had wasted the first 6 months of my sweet boy’s life.

Slowly, I began to retake my place in William’s life. I took one step at a time … a feeding here, a nappy change there, maybe a story.

As his first birthday approached, I was as close to my old self as I thought possible. Admittedly, celebrating his birthday did make me feel better. My friends, who had never given up on me, were all there, as was most of family. Ken was there, too.

During William’s second year, we had settled into a good routine. I felt comfortable being alone with my son, and I was overjoyed that he was doing so well.

Ken still came over and we talked. It was during this time that he suggested I consider teaching at RADA. At first, I refused, but he made a compelling argument. So, I decided to think about it.

Mum and I discussed it, and she thought it was great idea as well. My only concern was little William. Mum said she would work on that.

It was decided that I would start at RADA after the Christmas holidays. About a week before the new session began, I met HER.

Mum had spent a lot of time investigating potential nannies for me. And apparently Rachel was exactly what she was searching for.

Mum brought to the house to meet both William and me. I was so nervous. Mum assured me that Rachel was perfect for us. She was a few years younger than me, and had attended University. She had studied psychology but her passion was working with children.

Holding William, I walked into the living room. I was shocked. She was fairly petite, but curvy in all the right places. She had light brown hair with the palest green eyes I’d ever seen. And her smile …

I shook my head to clear my mind. She introduced herself to both of us, and William was immediately taken with her. He giggled every time she smiled at him. Her credentials were most impressive, and her instant connection with my boy was obvious.

Still being apprehensive, I suggested a trial period, and if all went well, and then we could discuss a more permanent situation.

That first month was interesting. I hadn’t lived with anyone since Jackie, and well, there were a few awkward moments. I was mortified when she caught me walking nude into William’s room, but she didn’t make a big deal. There was also the time that I walked into her room without knocking, catching her in just her bra and panties. They were a lovely shade of blue …

More importantly, however, William was happy. She had established a routine for him, and then one for all of us that worked really well.

Over the next year, I got to know Rachel even better. She was incredibly bright, and she loved to read. I would often find her reading to William, and not just children’s stories.

She was caring, compassionate, a good cook, and a very good conversationalist. I found myself talking to her a lot. When she first asked me about Jackie, I couldn’t talk about it. Rachel respected my feelings, but when she told me why she wanted to know about her, I opened up. Rachel told me that she wanted to tell William about her. She mentioned how she always showed him pictures of Jackie, but she couldn’t tell him anything.

She was so easy to talk to, and we found ourselves chatting more and more. I was really beginning to feel comfortable with her.

I would come home every evening, and we would prepare dinner together. I kept stealing glances at her, watching how at ease she was in the kitchen. I also noticed how William responded to her. He would giggle when she touched his cheek, he smiled when she did, and he loved how she would listen to him.

It was strange, the feeling that I’d get when I saw them. If was almost as if …

William’s third birthday was so special. My sister and her family were able to come home from India, and a number of friends were actually free, so it was a big party.

During the whole day, I found myself watching Rachel. William really was thriving with her. And she cared about him, too.

At one point, Ken pulled me aside, and asked me about her. He didn’t say anything as I talked; he merely watched. When I was finally finished, he just smiled.

I remember that conversation vividly …

_“She’s quite lovely,” Ken said._

_“_ _Yes, she is. William is very fond of her.”_

_“And he’s not the only one …” he replied._

_“What are you talking about?”_

_Ken chuckled. “You like her.”_

_“She’s William’s nanny. I’m grateful that Mum found her for him.”_

_Ken shook his head. “Your mum was also thinking about you. We all know how devastated you were when Jackie passed away. And while no one will ever replace her, I don’t think she’d want you to be alone.”_

_“Are you serious?”_

_A small but knowing smile spread across Ken’s face. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve noticed how you smile when you see Rachel and William together. And it’s quite obvious how much happier you are since she’s arrived.”_

_“I love Jackie.”_

_Ken sighed. “I know you will always love her. I’m not suggesting that you stop. I’m merely saying that you shouldn’t reject the possibility.”_

_“Ken, I love you, but you’re crazy.”_

That conversation stuck with me, though. And for the next few months, I kept replaying it in my mind. Even if he were right, I couldn’t betray Jackie like that …

Christmas was the turning point. I had invited Rachel to stay with us for the holidays, as she didn’t have a good relationship with her family. She was overjoyed at the prospect of celebrating a happy Christmas.

I accompanied Mum to mass on Christmas Eve while Rachel watched William. I remember that conversation as well …

_“Tom, what’s wrong?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“Yes, you do. I know it as well,” Mum responded._

_“Tom, I know how much you still love Jackie. But I’ve also seen how you look at Rachel. You’re almost back to your old self, and Rachel has done that. Give it a chance,” Mum gently pleaded._

_“I’d be cheating on Jackie.”_

_Mum took my hand, and said, “Son, you can’t cheat on someone who is no longer here. She’ll always be in your heart. Do you really think she’d want you to be alone and unhappy?”_

_“I’m not alone. I have William, and Ken, and you…”_

_“That’s not what I mean and you know it. It’s ok to want to be happy again. It’s ok to love someone else …” she whispered._

That night, as I watched my precious boy sleeping, I thought a lot about what Mum said. And then I made my decision …

Christmas morning was priceless. William was ecstatic, tearing open his gifts with such pure joy. He wore himself out quickly, and after getting him settled for a nap, I went into my room and retrieved a small package.

Walking downstairs, I spied Rachel sitting on the couch, looking at the tree. Taking a deep breath, I sat down next to her.

“Happy Christmas Rachel,” I said, handing her the gift.

She looked at it, glanced up at me, and then took it.

“Thank you, but you really didn’t have to do this,” she replied softly.

I watched as she opened it. I was so happy to see the smile on her face as she read the title.

“I love ‘The Great Gatsby’!” she cried.

She threw her arms around me and hugged me. I hoped she couldn’t hear my heart pounding my chest.

Suddenly, she realized what she was doing, and pulled away.

“I’m sorry …” she whispered.

“Rachel, I … I need to say something,” I stammered nervously.

She said nothing, but did look at me.

“I … I’ve been alone since Jackie … And I’ll understand if … well …”

Rachel reached out and gently touched my hand.

Sighing, I continued. “William adores you, and he is doing wonderfully since you arrived. Honestly, so am I. I … I’m very grateful that you’re here. I know you came here to take care of my son, but you’ve …”

Without warning, Rachel leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. I couldn’t help the moan that escaped, nor could I help my arms wrapping themselves around her waist.

Breathless, she smiled at me. But I spoke first.

“I didn’t think I could ever feel anything for someone else. I also don’t know if this is a good idea. What I do know is that I feel like I used to before Jackie … was taken from me …”

Rachel reached out and gently laid her hand on my cheek.

“I can’t even imagine how hard that was hard for you. You were so sad when I first came to work for you. But you’re … you’re like I remembered seeing you on TV, and on the internet. The smile is genuine, and you’re so much happier. William feels it too,” she said.

“I … I can’t ask you to do this. You do work for me. And I will never stop loving her …”

Rachel smiled, and my heart skipped a beat.

“I don’t know how you could. She was the love of your life, and William’s mother.” She took my hands in hers before continuing. “I’m willing to try if you are. And I have no expectations. I just don’t want whatever this is to negatively affect William. I adore him.”

I sighed. “I know you do. So why don’t we take this slow. And whatever step we take next, we do so with William in mind.”

Rachel didn’t hesitate before nodding in agreement.

I smiled, relieved, and hopeful, for the first time in years …

Over the next several months, we started doing things together. Sometimes the three of us would go places together. William loved the park, and the zoo.

Other times, Rachel and I would go out alone, with Mum or my sister Emma watching William. We did all sorts of things – we’d go to dinner, see a movie, wander around a museum.

We took our time getting to know each other, and we didn’t pressure each other in any way.

Rachel and I had a lot in common. But we also had some very different opinions on things, which I really enjoyed.

It was a little bizarre, because I felt so many unique emotions. She would hold my hand when we walked places, and each she took it, a shiver ran down my spine. Whenever she looked me, my pulse would race. And when she smiled, I would blush like a schoolgirl!

It was so different from being with Jackie, and admittedly, I really liked it.

Rachel came with us to Scotland to celebrate William’s 4th birthday. That was quite an experience. My dad had suggested it, and honestly, I thought it was a pretty cool idea.

William loved travelling on the train, and he was positively captivated by Scotland.

Surprisingly, I did well being back there. I did think a lot about Jackie, but Rachel was interested in hearing about our wedding. I think it helped me, too. I didn’t feel like I was ignoring my past.

William was continuing to grow and thrive. He loved Rachel just as much as she loved him …

_“Wachel?” he asked one night as she was reading him a story._

_“Yes sweetheart?” she replied._

_“I wuv you,” he said._

_“I love you too William,” she answered._

_“Do you wuv daddy?” he asked._

_Giggling, she replied, “Yes, I do.”_

_“Will you be my other mummy … pwease?” he asked sweetly._

_She paused, and thought before answering. “You need to talk to daddy about that. Now, let’s finish our story …”_

I really was happy. So I decided that we should spend New Year’s Eve together … alone.

Mum was more than willing to have her beloved grandson spend the night. I was embarrassed, as she guessed the reason. But she just hugged me and wished me well before taking William to her house.

I had ordered dinner from a nice restaurant, and while Rachel was getting dressed, I got everything ready.

When she joined me in the dining room, I was stunned. She looked so beautiful, in a deep purple lace dress that accentuated all of her luscious curves. She had pulled her hair up in a loose twist, and with her gold shoes and jewelry, she was breathtaking.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her all during dinner, and I had hard time trying to stay calm. Rachel must’ve felt it too, as I noticed her squirming in her chair.

After dessert, I brought us into the living room, where we danced for a bit. I loved how right it felt having her in my arms.

“This is nice, Tom. Thank you,” she said softly.

“No, Rachel, I should be the one thanking you.”

She stopped, and looked up at me. “Why?”

Resting my forehead against hers, I said, “Ken pulled me from the depths of hell. You brought me back to life.”

“Oh Tom,” she sighed as I kissed her.

This kiss was different from the others. There was a passion from both of us that was previously absent. And not only was there want, but there was also need.

She broke our embrace, and looked me squarely in the eye. “Are you sure?” she asked.

I smiled. “Yes, I am. Are you?”

She nodded. “Absolutely,” she replied without hesitation.

Rachel then slipped off her heels, and pulled the clip out her hair, allowing it to fall to her shoulders. She loosened my tie, and slid my jacket off.

I pulled her back into my arms, relishing the feel of her soft skin under my fingertips. Without warning, I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

I set her down, and she immediately began unbuttoning my shirt. I moaned as Rachel placed her hands on my bare chest. Kissing her neck, I reached around and started unzipping her dress.

“Rachel,” I groaned as I watched it fall to the floor, revealing the purple lace bra and panties.

She pushed my shirt off my shoulders, and placed feathery kisses on my neck and chest. As she rose up on her toes to kiss me, her hands began unbuckling my belt. She gasped upon slipping her fingers below the waistband to find me without underwear.

“So it’s true …” she sighed.

I chuckled, and unclasped her bra. I stepped out of my pants and picked her up again, this time laying her gently upon the bed. Licking my lips, I slowly descended upon her, my tongue lavishing her cleavage.

“Please … Tom …” she quietly pleaded as my hands roamed all over her voluptuous body.

Pulling myself up, I looked deeply into her eyes. Understanding my silent question, she nodded and smiled, and leaned up to kiss me.

As we kissed, I slid her panties off. She reached up, grabbing my shoulders, and pulled me closer to her.

“Rachel,” I moaned as I slid slowly inside of her.

She felt heavenly around me, so warm and inviting. I stilled for a moment, enjoying the sheer pleasure of being at one with her. Rachel squirmed underneath, craving the movement that we both desired.

We started off slowly, tongues caressing each other, hands feeling each other. When she wrapped her legs around my hips, I felt my control begin to crumble. I quickened our pace, our rapid breaths filling the room.

I groaned in pleasure as her nails raked up and down my back. “Rachel…”

I was so close, and I desperately wanted us to finish together. I slid my hand between us, and gently touched her.

“Tom!” she screamed as she felt my extra caress.

A few moments later we were screaming each other’s names in pure unbridled ecstasy. She pulled me close to her and held me for a minute before we separated.

Panting, we shifted to a more comfortable position. I wrapped her as tightly in my arms as possible and kissed her forehead.

As we laid there, the clock struck twelve, ushering in the New Year. Rachel picked her head and smiled at me. My heart soared.

“I love you Tom. Happy New Year.”

I kissed her softly. “I love you too Rachel. Thank you for saving us.”

She shook her head before resting it on my chest and falling asleep …

“Daddy!” William said, tugging on my exposed arm.

“Daddy!” he yelled this time, rousing me from my dreams.

I opened my eyes to see my son looking at me.

“The bunny was here! I saw a basket with eggs! Come on!” he cried, yanking my hand.

I smiled, and heard Rachel chuckling next to me.

“You go downstairs, and Daddy and I will be there soon. But remember! You can’t eat any until after mass,” Rachel said sweetly.

William ran around to her side of the bed and hugged her.

“K, Rachel!”

We both laughed as he ran downstairs. I pulled her down on top of me and we kissed.

“I think we should tell him today. We can say the bunny brought you a special gift.”

Rachel kissed my nose, and started to get up.

“You silly man. Bunnies don’t bring this kind of gift. Storks do …”

I smiled, thinking about my life.

I nearly lost everything. But I was saved, and given a second chance at happiness …

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading :)


End file.
